


Alcohol And Tea

by LunaIrenePond



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: M/M, Tea, james returns shit to Q, they shoot things
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-08
Updated: 2014-07-19
Packaged: 2018-01-18 16:38:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1435414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaIrenePond/pseuds/LunaIrenePond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone is broken from Skyfall. James and Q help each other... also CIA managed to get hacked and locked out of their own computers. This is rated T just to be safe... if anything it would be because of future violence. My Bond (like a fair amount) is Danial Craig's Bond but a bit younger and my Q is Ben Whishaw's Q. This is separate from my bondlocks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

James Bond came out of the whole affair with M’s and Vesper’s deaths as a broken man and he needed to be pieced back together. Q came out of M’s death, amazingly, with more respect from Q branch, but he blamed himself for her death. In his mind if he had done his job Sylva wouldn’t have been able to hack them. In James’s mind if he had been completely fit for duty it wouldn’t have gone down the same way. 

“Here,” James said as he slammed the pen on Q’s desk making the quartermaster jump a little. It was James’s 20th mission with the new Q that something changed. He had finally returned a piece of equipment.

The whole Q branch fell silent when they saw what he had. “007,” Q said shaking his head. “This was the one piece of equipment that you didn’t have to return.”

“I know,” James said with a smirk.

“That’s the only reason you gave it back isn’t it?”

“That, and the fact that it is a God awful pen.”

“If it was such a bad pen, why didn’t you blow it up?”

“I never got the chance,” James replied before waltzing out of the Q branch.

The next thing he returned was a gun. MI6 was stunned. The mission following that one he apologized for not being able to return anything. Q couldn’t think of anything to say before James left and was half way to the shooting range. The mission hadn’t gone well and he was going to blow off some steam. “Bond,” Q shouted down the hallway after him.

“What is it Q?”James kept walking even though he was slightly surprised that Q was even out of Q branch let alone let to talk to him.

“Why have you suddenly started to return things?” Q asked as he caught up to the tall blonde at last.

James shrugged, “I just started to care.”

“Okay,” Q shrugged as they walked through the double doors to the range. “Do you mind if I join you?” There wasn’t a missions or a national emergency going on at the moment and Q fully believed that his minions could handle everything that they were working on.

“You want to shoot things with guns?” James inquired raising his eyebrow.

“James, I made these guns, I should be able to use them,” Q retorted. “And anyway, it’s a great stress reliever.”

“Okay, okay,” James said trying not to laugh as he picked up a gun.

“You don’t believe that I can use this, do you?” Q smirked as he picked up his own gun.

“I completely believe that you can use that, I just also have the feeling that this is going to be a competition,” James laughed as he shot at the target, each of his five bullets pulled slightly to the right.

Q looked at his target for a few seconds before squaring his shoulders and shooting five times, the first three bullets hit right in the center the other two went a bit to the left.

“Your hand started to get tired and under compensate for the pull of the gun,” James pointed out.

“And you are over compensating,” Q smirked.

James just shook his head and chuckled. The two of them continued this way, shooting and helping each other, do that by the time that an hour had passed they had almost completely perfected their marksmanship.

“Well I have to go,” Q said checking his watch.

“Okay, well, do you want to go out for drinks later?” James asked as he put another round into the target.

“Maybe next time, Bond,” Q said as he left the range.

As Q reentered the Q branch everyone fell silent but no one dared to mention that he had been gone for a good hour. Q called R over and asked her, “did anything happen while I was gone?” R was a kind person, she was five years older than Q and had been going after the position of Quartermaster before they had found him and brought him in, but R didn’t let that come between them. In reality she was rather impressed. Q had been able to hack into MI6 at the age of 20 and then fix all of the holes in security before completely covering his tracks. It took the whole Q branch two weeks to track him down. That alone was a record, Q took the top of the leader board, and yes Q branch has a leader board for that kind of thing.

“Nope,” she said handing him a stack of paperwork. “You do have to fill out all of these.”

Q sighed, “Unless the world is imploding please don’t bother me.”

“Have fun,” R laughed as Q walked back to his office. Everyone in Q branch knew that Q hated paper work so they enjoyed dumping all of the paperwork on him when they amassed enough to make his life difficult for a few hours. They were evil like that.

This continued for close to a year. James would come back from a mission, return his equipment, then, if Q wasn’t busy, the two of them would go out to the shooting range, if Q didn’t have time James would wait for him, and after they were done shooting the hell out of the targets James would ask Q out for coffee or to go to some various bar. Q always had a reason to say no.

James one night managed to find his way to Q branch after everyone else had found their way home, “Q what are you doing later?”

“Well Bond,” Q said checking his watch. “Seeing as its one in the morning, I’m going home to sleep.” He started to pack up his computer and went to grab his coat.

James followed him as Q walked to his office. “Do you want to go get a drink?”

“James, no offence but, I’ve been up since four in the morning dealing with you and 006 I need to sleep.”

“Well… maybe next time then?” 

“Maybe next time.” 

“Hey,” James said while walking with Q to the exit. “Why don’t I bring you coffee tomorrow morning?”

“Well, I’m more of a tea person.”

“Even better,” James smiled. “What kind of tea do you like?”

“Earl Grey with milk and two sugars,” Q said yawning.

The next two months every time that Q came to MI6 and James was there James would make and bring him a cup of perfect tea and the 00 agent would ask if Q would go out to drinks with him. On the first day of the third month Q cracked and said yes. All of MI6 was impressed that he had lasted that long.


	2. Chapter 2

MI6 had been having a very stressful three days. A couple of agents’ covers had been blown deep in a terrorist cell and the whole MI6 had been working around the clock to get them out of the whole mess. With no success. Q, M, and James had all been on the radio with them in M’s office as two gun shots rang out and the two agents fell silent. The deathly silence that followed lasted for a long time. “James, did they have any family?” M finally asked after a good ten minutes.

“You have their files,” James said curtly before leaving M’s office.

Q stood up warily, “I should probably follow him and make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.”

“Go on,” M said waving him off. Q caught a sight of him rubbing his eyes in despair before Q closed the thick wooden door behind him.

“What happened?” Money-Penny asked worried. “James just stormed through here.”

Q sighed before just simply stating, “They didn’t make it.”

“Oh God,” she said putting her head in her hands.

Q quickly shut the door and started to run to the shooting range; while he ran he sent a text to R, “they didn’t make it. I’ll probably be at the shooting range. Get me if there is a problem.” Q opened the door t and sure enough there was James shooting round after round into the target. “Bond,” Q said cautiously when James had to reload his gun.

“What Q?” James asked curtly.

“You know it wasn’t your fault, right?” Q asked cautiously as he walked over slowly to where James was standing.

James replied by shooting another round into the target.

“Bond!” Q shouted at the 00 agent while reaching up and taking the man’s ear protection off.

James stopped shooting half way through his next round and unhappily looked at the Quartermaster in front of him.

“James Bond, their deaths were not your fault, my fault, or M’s fault. If you want to blame someone blame that god forsaken terrorist organization. Just don’t take it out on yourself or that poor target.” 

James just looked at him, anger and grief intermixed in his face, before grabbing the front of Q’s shirt and thoroughly kissing him. All he said when they parted was, “I know Q.” 

Q was blushing as he buried his face in James’s shoulder. “Could you give a guy a warning, Bond?”

James smirked, “but where’s the fun in that.”

“Oh shut up,” Q said before kissing him back. They didn’t part until they heard the door open and close behind them. 

“I’m sure Felix would love to hear about this,” R said from beside the doorframe.

“Felix?” Q was confused, Felix never called them.

“He’s on hold in your office, something about the CIA needing your help,” R smirked. “If I were you I would record the conversation for blackmailing purposes. He was practically begging me to get you.”

“The CIA never needs my help,” Q mumbled as he headed to his office trying very hard not to run. James walked very close behind him.

“Felix what’s up?” Q inquired as he sat down in his spinning desk chair. James came in behind him and softly closed the door.

“We’re having a sort of a crisis over here and we were hoping you could come in and check it out,” Felix replied over the phone, it sounded like he was in a car.

“Don’t you have people to deal with stuff like that?” 

“Yes but none of them can figure out what is wrong.”

James had started to mess with the Rubik cube that been perfectly put together on Q’s desk.

“What do you mean?”

“Someone hacked into the CIA and locked us out,” Felix said sounding really tired of what was going on.

Q couldn’t help but laugh, “That’s quite a problem. How have you tried to get back in?”

“We’re tried hacking it externally but there aren’t any ways to get in. Then we tried to get in the normal way but the lock they set up is fighting back and we’re getting nowhere.”

“Oh,” was all Q could say. He jumped on his computer and, from what James could see, it looked like he was trying to hack into the CIA.

“Yeah, someone told me that you knew all about these things.”

“I should,” Q said shaking his head.

“So will you come over here?” Felix pleaded.

“I’ll ask M,” Q said not making any promises. James by this time had managed to make a mess of the cube. 

“Thanks Q, we’re a mess over here,” Felix said before hanging up.

“So what do you think?” James asked holding up the Rubik cube. 

“I think you are horrible at those things,” Q laughed as he took the Rubik cube from him.

“Yeah well… that’s not really my area.”

“Oh I know,” Q said smiling as he twiddled with the cube.

“So what do you think of the whole CIA problem?” James asked being more specific. The phone had been on speaker.

“I think that someone got a hold of my lock and just used it to look them out of most everything so I need to go over there and unlock it.”

“It could be a trap…” James pondered. “The person that used it would know that you are the only one that can use it.”

“So do you want to come?” Q asked.

“If it’s not too much trouble, that is.”

Q just rolled his eyes and set the cube down, it was solved perfectly, before he got up to leave the room, “the plane ride is going to be fun though.” 

“You hate planes don’t you?” James asked when he heard Q.

“Yes, but I have to do this so I’ll deal…”

“Okay, if you’re sure,” James said looking Q in the eye.

“I’m a grown man, Bond, I’ll be fine,” Q sighed before walking off towards M’s office. James followed closely behind.

A few minutes later James and Q were walking into Money-Penny’s office where R was gossiping with her. As soon as R saw the two of them walking in she quickly left. “Hello Eve, is M free?” James asked smiling.

“Well that depends,” she said raising her eyebrow. “News travels fast with us girls so tell me… are you two, you know, a thing?”

James shrugged, “I don’t know. Q, do you want to be a thing?”

Q was standing awkwardly at the door, “sure, I mean you’re a pretty good kisser, so yeah.”

“You’re not too bad yourself,” James smirked.

“M is all yours,” Money-Penny smiled as she waved them off towards M’s office.

“James, Q, what seems to be the problem?” M asked as he took a swig of some alcoholic drink.

“M, has the CIA contacted you about their security problem?” Q asked as he quickly walked over to M’s desk.

“They called me early this morning about it, but I thought that we had bigger problems. Also, can’t they deal with it themselves?” M inquired.

“We did have bigger problems at the time sir, but I don’t think we do now. The way that they are locked out is the same thing that Sylva used. I’m the only other person that should be able to use it.”

“So what you’re saying is that you have to go to America to help the CIA break back into their own computers?” M asked as he ran a hand through his hair. 

“Yes sir,” Q confirmed.

“Then what are you doing here Bond?”

James said squaring his shoulders, “sir, I am asking to go with Q. The person that did this knows that Q is the only other person that can decode it.”

“So you think it could be a trap?” M asked.

“Yes sir.”

“I’ll call CIA and arrange what I can. Q, you need to inform R of what is going on. James, go find a gun or something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: so I wrote a fair amount of this while watching the latest star trek movie and I typed and edited this while watching Under Siege so, yeah… I hoped you liked it… somehow this is becoming a three part thing… I don’t know… eventually I’ll write one shots.


	3. Chapter 3

Hours later 007 and Q were in the airport heading for their flight. Q was shaking. James put his arm around him, "when was the last time you were on a plane?"

"I was seven and my parents and I were coming back from Disney," Q said trying to keep his voice from shaking.

"Then why are you shaking?" James asked.

"My parents died in an air crash when I was eleven," Q shuddered as he remembered that horrible day. He had been at some privet boarding school in the country when his older sister, who was eighteen at the time, and the headmaster, pulled him out of class and told him what had happened. His parents had been on the way back from visiting friends in America when the plane crashed somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean. No one ever learned why.

James thought to himself that he should have known; everyone MI6 seemed to recruit has no family.

"I need to do this, it'll be fine," Q sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else.

James took Q's hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "I have faith in you."

An hour later Q was sitting by the window and James was sitting next to him watching some crappy spy movie. "You know," Q said as he looked out the window. "I watched every documentary about planes and read every book I could get my hands on in those months after my parents died and it's never made these things less terrifying."

"I know," James said squeezing his hand. "We'll get threw it together."

"I hope so," Q said before he took out his iPod and tried to tune the rest of the world out.

Hours later they landed in Arlington, Virginia and James soon found that Q was hopeless to try and talk to, he had shut down somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean. James led the two of them through the airport and into a company car in which they were taken to the hotel they would be staying at. As soon as they got to their room Q started to shake. "Q?" James said slowly as he cautiously walked over to him. "Q, can you look at me?"

Q slowly raised his face to meet James's.

"Hey, you're okay, we made it off the plane and you're okay," James said this while looking at the broken man in front of him. "You're safe."

"I- I know," Q stammered as he shook even more.

James pulled the scared man into a warm embrace before kissing Q on the forehead; just as he did the young Quartermaster broke down and began to sob into James's shoulder. "It will be okay, I got you, you're safe." The two of them stayed like that till Q sank to the floor because he couldn't cry and more and it was just dry sobs. James sat down with him and placed one arm protectively around his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Q said as he rubbed his face, his glasses almost fell off his face.

"Its fine," James reassured as he pushed Q's glasses back up to the bridge of Q's nose.

"No, no, I shouldn't have done that. I wasted time," Q said trying to stand up.

"Q, shut up," James said as he pulled him back down and quickly kissed him. "You're human, it happens to everyone."

"I doubt it happens to you," Q said pointedly.

"Q, I have killed so many people. I break down and have panic attacks just like everyone else, just when I do, it's when I'm home alone after a mission and there is no one to calm me down."

"Bond, I'm sorry," Q said before he went to kiss him again.

Once they parted James tried to change the topic to something happier by saying, "While we are on the deep thought provoking track. Will I ever get to know your real name and why do you never call me James?"

"No and because of habit," Q laughed at James's sudden change of topic

"Do I get to know a middle name?" James pleaded as he toyed with Q's hair.

Q paused for a moment thinking it over, "Edwin and if you call me that at MI6 I will personally kill you."

"Yes sir," James laughed. "It suits you."

"Do I get to ask a deep and profound thing now?" Q asked with a smile.

"Yes, ask away."

"Okay then, why me out of all the people in MI6, why me?" Q asked as he messed with the buttons on Q's shirt.

"Because you had absolutely no interest in me," James smirked.

"Oh but I did," Q blushed.

"Well you did a good job of hiding that."

"Nah," Q shrugged. "You just weren't looking hard enough."

"I beg to differ," James laughed before he leaned in and kissed Q once before the phone went off.

Q sighed, "I'll get it." The two of them stood up and before Q answered the phone James wrapped his arms around Q's waist. "Hello," Q said picking up the phone.

"Hi, this is international exports, is a person by the name of Q there?" asked a cheery young woman.

"You're speaking to him," Q replied.

"Well, I'm just calling to remind you of your meeting here at one o'clock this afternoon," she said, her cheery demeanor hadn't wavered a bit.

"We've got two hours," James whispered into Q's ear as he fiddled with the buttons on the front of Q's shirt.

Q covered the receiver of the phone with his hand, "Bond, stop you're distracting." He then told the woman, "I never forgot, I'll be there."

"Pleasure talking to you," the lady said before hanging up.

"So," James said flopping down on the bed. "We have an hour."

Q put the phone the receiver and walked over and sat on the bed. "I have a feeling you have a few things in mind."

"A bit yeah," James smirked as he reached up and took Q's glasses off.

An hour later the two of them had changed and were walking into a building with the words "International Exports" in big blue letters on the side of it. They walked through five metal detectors, showed their I. D. seven times, and went up seven stories before taking the elevator down one to a cold and unwelcoming room where Felix was waiting for the two of them. The room was very much like Q branch's computer set up but all the monitors were dead except for the one in the front which had a blue web like design on the display and a row of numbers on the side. "Hello Bond," he said shaking the taller man's hand. "It's been a while."

"It has hasn't it," James said thinking back. The last time they had seen each other was back when the last M was still alive.

Felix then shook Q's hand, "nice to meet you. I hope you can help us with our problem."

"I hope so…"

"Well here is our main computer," Felix said pointing Q to a computer in the front of the room. "It's hooked up to that monitor."

Q walked over to it and sat down after he pushed his glasses up onto his face up to the bridge of his nose. His fingers then started to fly over the keyboard as the web on the screen shifted so quickly that barley anyone could follow it. "The thing about the code," Q explained as he worked. "Is that you have to find a key or something in order for it to unlock and this one is all numbers."

People then started to shout out ideas of numbers that might work, Q put them in one after each other, and sure enough nothing worked. This went one for what seemed like hours until James walked over to Q and put a hand on Q's shoulder and suggested, "Have you tried your birthday?"

"Um… no," Q said a bit taken aback by the suggestion.

"Why don't you try it?"

"Okay…" as soon as Q put the numbers in the web clicked and the CIA's information was all unlocked.

The room was silent until Felix remarked rather cockily, "You're 28?"

"Yes, I didn't think that was breaking news anymore," Q quipped back.

"Why did that work?" someone asked from the back of the room.

Q sighed as he explained, "I was the creator of this code. It was my senior project in college. The only other living person that would possibly know about it would be my professor."

"What was his name?" James asked.

"Thomas Pental," Q said thinking back. "He was about 50 when he taught me."

"How long ago?" Felix asked.

"Eight years."

James reached to take out his phone, "I'll call M, someone needs to find him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so if you may or not have noticed... the chapters have changed... and the description has changed... i'm so sorry. This isn't what you signed up for but somehow this took off and i couldn't stop... so this is actually not going to be a one-shot thing anymore. i'm sorry. just so you know it is possible for me to write one-shots (see my night vale stuff) but just apparently not 00Q... i love you all, sorry... please don't kill me...


	4. Chapter 4

Thomas Pental, it turned out, was still teaching. So once James and Q made their way back to London the first thing they did was to visit Q’s old college, “You still look like you could be a student,” James smirked as he parked his car in front of the curb.

“Oh shut up,” the younger man said climbing out of the car.

“Are you sure that you’ll be okay on your own?”

“I’ll be fine,” he assured him rolling his eyes. “Stop worrying.”

“He did just lock the CIA out of everything,” James argued. 

“I have a gun it’ll be okay,” Q sighed as he shut the door to the car and headed down an old red coble stone walkway to the office of his old professor. The buildings were just as he remembered, not much had changed in eight years. He climbed up a couple sets of stairs to a lecture hall which had just been let out. He then waited as the rush of students thinned out before strolling into the hall.

“Office hours are from five to six, come back later,” Professor Pental said without looking up.

“If I was a student still I would come back,” Q said sauntering up to the ageing man.

The professor glanced up from the scattering of papers he was trying to organize; Q couldn’t find a bare spot on the desk. He then started to stammer, “Um, hello Sherrinford.”

“Hello Professor,” Q said shaking the man’s hand. “How have you been lately?”

“v- v- very g- g- good th- th- thank you,” he stuttered. “What about you?”

“It’s been pretty good,” Q then added thoughtfully, “I heard a few days ago that our government got locked out of itself.”

Professor Pental paused with a block look on his face before sputtering out, “Yes one of my friends was talking about that. The hacker must have been very good. I also heard that they used your lock Sherrinford.”

“Oh really?” Q said faking surprise, “I wonder how that could have happened.”

The professor shrugged, “You could have just left it on a USB somewhere and someone swiped it.”

“That might have been it.”

“Things go missing all the time on campus.”

“Yes, yes,” Q nodded his head thoughtfully.

“But however it happened I assure you it wasn’t me.”

“Of course not,” he smiled before he turned around and went to leave the way he came. “It was nice to talk to you again,” he waved his hand.

“Oh, yeah, you too.”

“He did it,” Q sighed as he climbed into James’s car a couple minutes later.

“Really?”

“Yeah, he practically told me he did,” he said running a hand threw his black curly hair. “I recorded the conversation on my phone. Do you want to hear it?”

“Yeah sure,” James said as they got stuck in afternoon traffic.

After the recording ended Q asked, “What do you think?”

“Either there is a leak in the CIA or that man did it because he practically described it perfectly.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“You should send that recording to Felix,” James suggested as they pulled into the parking deck for MI6.

“I already did. Oh and look at that,” Q remarked casually as he glanced at his phone. “I have twelve new text and five new voice mails.”

“Well that’s just obsessive,” James smirked as they walked through security.

“A bit,” Q laughed.

As they walked up the stairs he opened his voicemail. “Four new messages,” read off the calming voice, “First message.” Felix then began to talk.

“Hey, this is Felix, um, yeah, that seems to be our guy.” The second one quickly followed, “Hey I want to talk to you about this call me back.” The third was received ten minutes later, “Hey we ran a background check on your professor and he seems really clean.” The fourth and final one was just Felix complaining, “I bet you aren’t even listening to these. I bet that you are making out with James in his car.” Q couldn’t help but chuckle.

“What is it?” James asked looking at Q strangely.

“Come here and listen to this,” Q said handing James the phone.

James’s face started to break into a smile as he listened and it didn’t diminish till the two of them walked into M’s office.

“Good morning 007, Q,” he said nodding to each of them in turn as they sat in the leather chairs facing his desk. “How was America?”

“It was great fun,” James smirked.

Q kicked him in the shin.

M looked at the two of them with a knowing look. “So officially what happened?”

“We unlocked the CIA, figured out who did it, and questioned him,” Q reported.

“Well that’s what you did,” James smirked.

“Oh shut up Bond,” both M and Q said as one.

“So, you said that you questioned him…” M said.

“Yes,” Q pulled out his phone. “Do you want me to play it for you?”

M nodded. After it was done he asked, “Did you send that to the CIA?”

“Yes and Felix has been bombarding me with text and phone calls.”

“Call that bloody man back then come back and tell me what he found out,” M said before shoving the two of them out of his office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha i bet you all thought i wasn't going to post this! But i have haha! i hope you liked it ^-^

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Well this took longer to type up than I was expecting… but here it is in all of its glory. I read A LOT of fanfiction myself so if you see a head canon that you believe is yours please just point it out to me and I will change it. I read so much that I can’t seem to separate my head canon from other people’s head canon. DFTBA


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